Two to Three Years – Mental Development

Towards three years, the child becomes inquisitive and nothing escapes them. The imagination of the child takes them everywhere since they don’t know the difference between reality and fiction. They may tell stories mixed with truth and fiction. The child makes reference more to him/herself than anyone else because he/she has just realized that she is a functional human being.

Three year old's easily change their minds for no good reason. The parent should lead the child through rather than waiting for the child to decide.

This is what to expect:

i.                    Between two and two-and -half years, children cannot directly respond to questions and instructions, “NO” is their preferred answer even if they do not mean it. They like repeating familiar stories, mainly about themselves, familiar people, animals, children and other familiar objects. The child may be able to sing a few simple songs. They like playing with clay and mud and also know where they want to go and how to get there. The child has no sense of time, does not like changes or new routines and may have a stubborn sense of possession.

ii.                  At three years, the child vocabulary may have anything between 100 and 1000 words. The child shows interest in new stories of imaginations as well as those including familiar experiences. They can now differentiate between day and night but still have a small sense of time. They can be absorbed in an activity such that it becomes difficult to stop them.

Read or tell stories to the baby, try not to cause anxiety therefore avoid over-stimulating stories especially before bedtime. Give the child anything that enables them to increase their imagination, this may include crayons, blocks, toys, etc. Let the child learn to do things by doing them. Most children are anxious about where babies come from, tell them the truth than telling them fairy stories which you will deny later. If the child learns that you lied, they may think it is convenient to lie sometimes. Allow the child to interact with others if available, or enroll in a nursery school.

Do NOT expect too much from the child even if he/she seems fast and bright. Do not however be satisfied with too little progress either. Encourage the child in a gentle manner. NEVER compare the child with others especially in his/her presence, whether with praises or anything negative.

Two to Three Years - Physical Development.

This is a stage of fast development in all directions and often poses problems to parents especially if it is the first child. The seemingly "naughty" behaviour is in fact a normal manifestation of growth and the realization of some new physical power by the child. Try to stop these manifestations only for the child’s safety and that of others, otherwise let the child be. Take it calmly.

Expect this:

i.                    Between two and two-and-half years, the child may be very active, grabbing things and not easily letting go. The child wants to experiment and may either resist sleep or sleep too long due to exhaustion. The appetite varies and the child may be more interested in snacks than the regular meals. Girls find it easier to stay dry than boys and find bathing more enjoyable. Dressing may still be a challenge but they find it easy to undress. The number of teeth at two-and half is usually 21.

ii.                  At three years, the child can run, climb and ride a tri-cycle. They can do many things with hands and feet and may even be able to button and unbutton, hang clothes and girls are faster in this than boys. The child can now eat quietly and smartly with little spilling. They can feed, dress and toilet themselves with very little help if properly trained.

If there is need to control the child’s wild activity, find another channel rather than trying to make them stop it. If the child hurts him/herself, give them attention and sympathy, this goes a long way. Allow the child to feed themselves, give them what they prefer to eat, as long as it is healthy. Make them enjoy feeding and bathing.

Seemingly physical manifestations like stuttering, nail-biting, excessive handing of genitals are almost always signs of mental or emotional tension or unhappiness. Try to find the cause and eliminate or treat it early. Refrain from nagging and unnecessary punishment because this only increases the tension. Give the child enough interesting things to do and give them a chance to play alone and also with other children.

Never try to hurry the child in anything unnecessarily. Unless if really necessary, try not to interfere with the child’s moods, let them grow through them for proper growth. Don’t ever make the child feel that there is anything bad with any part of the human body at this stage. Many children become curious about body parts of the opposite sex, don’t make it an issue. 

One Year to Two Years – Moral and Spiritual Development

Even at two years, the child is still too young to understand abstract differences between right and wrong. The child still depends on approval and disapproval of those he /she loves. Being naughty is just because the child is not yet mature enough to control their behavior. Punishing the child is not of much use.

The best thing is to surround the child with goodness and mercy, that it may follow them all the days of their lives. No Sunday School or moral teaching in later years can take the place of those impressions made by the spirit of the child’s first world, the home. The home creates the type of ground that the seeds of moral teaching will fall on later in life, make the ground fertile in order to reap a hundred fold.

The child may exhibit anger, hatred, fear, jealousy and temper to others but may also show love, affection and kindness to those who appeal to their sympathy. They reflect the moods of those around them, mainly the family.

Help develop the child’s self confidence by encouraging them to do for themselves what they want to try. Impart a feeling of order in the child by showing them where things must be, start my making them arrange their own toys. Praise any small success and encourage any step in the right direction. The child may at this age be taught a simple prayer. For example, to give grace before and after meals.

ALWAYS REFRAIN from anger, irritability, impatience, in yourself and from arousing anxiety, or fear in the child. 

One Year to Two Years – Social and Emotional Development.

The second year in the child’s life is a period of crucial emotional and social development such that those babies in happy families learn to lively happily with other people. 

Most children show affection spontaneously if they are in happy and lovely families. However, if the family is characterized by anger and hatred, the child may develop into and angry and hateful one.

To make the child a happy child, family members should express joyful emotions with dancing, clapping hands and laughing with, not at, the child. Children at this age often express anger and frustration when restrained fro doing what they want to do. They love companionship but may be shy with strangers. They also show sympathy to hurt members of the family, pets and even toys. 

A sense of self, self-ownership and self importance is observed through self-assertion. They often say NO to almost everything if they are always being restrained, but may also say YES to everything if they always get approval. They may sow jealous if there is a new baby. If there is a new baby at this stage, make the older child feel that the new baby belongs to him/her too. Pay extra attention to the older baby so that he/she feels that he/she is as loved as the new baby.

Since the atmosphere at home has greater influence than anything else, always keep it warm, wholesome and as pleasant as possible. Make the child feel secure and allow him/her to be free to develop a healthy outgoing spirit. Allow the child to see others play so that he/she can get used to them. Encourage sharing of toys and make it enjoyable. Don’t force the child to share otherwise the rest will be negative.

NEVER tease the child or allow him/her to be teased, but also don’t encourage the child to show off. The child is still growing; don’t worry about their bad table manners. Avoid punishing the child in a manner which does not teach them anything. Breaking the child’s spirit at this age will have dangerous effects. 

One Year to two Years – Mental Development

The early stages involve enormous mental development which parents normally take for granted. Just imagine, the child is developing from a sucking body to a moving and talking individual, that’s a big thing. It is therefore unwise to push the child beyond their natural rate.

Between 12 and 18 months, most children add up to 10 words in their vocabulary and may start constructing small phrases, never mind the order of the words, try to pick the meaning. The child does not, at this stage, understand the verbal meaning of words, but interprets by associating words with actions. Use proper gestures. Imitation of sounds, actions, gestures of those around them is a sign of good mental development. Children start pretend to be doing things which in reality they don’t know, like reading books and newspapers, and also waving good bye, though they don’t really know what it means.

Be careful and about what you say and how you say it to the child because they may pattern their voices and gestures after you. Try to correct the baby’s speech in a friendly way without nagging. Credit your child with the beginning of any ability to reason. Try buying toys and playthings that encourage imagination. Children at this age like playing with things that they see their parents doing, like cooking, sweeping and reading. Let the child also do tasks like dressing themselves and eating on their own though they do it in a slow and clumsy way. Let the child explore his/her small world as much as he/she can.

It is encouraged to sing simple songs to the child and also with the child. Put pictures in the child’s rooms to aid their imagination and give them soft crayons and papers to play with. Don’t expect any meaningful drawings from there. The child may try to help you in doing tasks, allow them if it’s not dangerous. Start considering nursery school.

If you want the child to do something, don’t try to tell them, rather lead them through. Avoid interrupting the child if he/she is occupied with something. If you feel like explaining something, keep it short and simple. Remember, scolding, nagging, slapping etc are not good ways of teaching anything.

One Year to Two Years – Physical Development

Continue encouraging the child in the traits which he/she may have not fully developed. Encourage confidence, courage, obedience and self-amusement.

Healthy children continue to gain weight and height as well as developing their walking and talking ability. The muscles are developing and the children should be encouraged to play freely though with an adult monitoring them. Some develop feeding problems but this should not be of much concern especially in the presence of the child. Just encourage healthy feeding but try to be gentle because the physical development of the child at this stage depends mainly on his/her emotions. If you suspect that there is a physical problem due to feeding, consult the doctor and keep calm.

This is what to expect of an average child. Yours may be faster or slower than this, don’t worry much, if you suspect anything wrong consult the doctor before consulting friends and elders.

i.                    Between twelve and eighteen months most children sleep for about 13 hours. They usually take one nap during the day. The child may be able to eat using a spoon and drink from a glass but walks in toddling manner. The child may be able to go up and down stairs without help and wants to run around doing errands. The soft spot on the head normally closes at this stage. However there may be variants.

ii.                  At two years the child may run or trot and build blocks, push or pull objects. The child can even cooperate during dressing and undressing. Most children are usually dry during the day and often at night.

When the child has managed to walk, it’s time for shoes and allow the child to get dirty. Put valuables and breakable stuff away from the child as he/she will begin touching things in the house. Allow the child to eat as much as he/she wants and give the child a vacation from the food that he/she does not like, at least for a while so that the baby does not hate eating. When the child throws away food, gently remove the plate and cut down on the portion. The action normally shows that the baby is full. Start new foods gradually and don’t force them on the child. Let the child have fruit juice or a snack between meals if the child becomes cross due to hunger. Slowly cut down on milk if the child has a balanced diet. The most important thing here is to keep the idea of food always pleasant for the child.

If the child sucks the thumb, don’t stop him/her but instead offer something to eat or something to occupy and hence disrupt the child from the sucking. 

Don’t try to teach the child to walk, he/she will walk when ready. If you suspect any problem, consult the doctor first. If the child is left-handed, try not to correct it because this may have more serious psychological consequences than being left-handed.  

Birth to One Year – Moral and Spiritual Development

The standard for right and wrong, as well as good and bad for an infant is the approval or disapproval of other family members otherwise infants have no idea about good and bad. So those people that the infant loves and depends on should show approval of what is good in their behavior and Vice Versa. The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.

Up to the age of one year, a baby is not capable of moral or spiritual understanding and can therefore not be trained in anything that comes properly under these headings. However their personality can be nurtured through the environment and family norms. These should include genuine warmth of feeling, sincere affection, peace, gentleness, kindness and understanding. These factors enable natural moral and spiritual development and it will blossom and flower making the child ready to understand its implications at a later age. The child develops conscience and he/she begins to understand what the people he/she loves think is good or bad, and what they expect.

At one year, most babies become trustful, loving, responsive to parent approval and disapproval. The child realises that obedience is expected of him/her through mild and uniformly repeated correction. The child is not yet old enough to understand moral and spiritual values or abstract ideas.

The parent should teach kindness by surrounding the baby with kindness. Try not to expose the child to situations which instil fear and hatred.